[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Smashing Pumpkins – “Rocket” ]

So I’m having a mixed feelings kinda day. This morning a get a call from a woman about a job. Now I knew the call was coming, because a friend of mine who didn’t want the gig, suggested me for it, but it was a little bit of a shock this morning nonetheless.

At first it didn’t look good, because as soon as the girl called, my door buzzer rang. It was the USPS with a package for me… so I had to hang up on her and get the package… but I called her back, and we actually knew a lot of the same people, and had shared some of the same vendors in our jobs… so that was interesting. I’m supposed to go in on Thursday and talk some more about it. Sounds promising… but… I’m not sure if I want a job right now. My severance package runs for 3 more months, so I don’t have to get a job right now… but the market is such shit… what if one isn’t available later? Ugh. And if I turned down a job, all my other jobless friends would lynch me. I guess if they offer… I’ll take it.

Second… went to go see that camera I was jonzing for @ J&R. I don’t wanna buy it there because it’s $250 more there than online… but I wanted to hold it… see how big it is, etc. (god that sounds bad). Of course after trekking down to ground zero… they didn’t have it.

Then… I had tentative lunch plans with Bitchygurl… but they fell thru when I got held up by the job lady… so I called another friend to go eat with. Now this other friend is a girlie too… and I had been entertaining the idea of maybe asking her out…. I kinda thought there was a vibe there. And we ended up hanging out at her apartment a couple times and had a good time… but couldn’t tell if the vibe was 360 or not… Well at lunch today, I all of sudden find out she has a boyfriend… and has had one for the past year… ugh!! What the fuck is that. Was I completely fooled by the possibility of a vibe. Do I have “gay friend” tattooed on my forehead. Geez… how come I’m always the friend and never the date. Oy. And of course we talked about her boyfriend isn’t quite what she needs or is looking for… and then we both talked about what we wanted in a relationship and it’s pretty much the same thing.. but of course she’s never gonna break up with the dood… I swear. I might as well go gay… the I could be the official gay friend rather than a pseudo/proxy gay friend. UGH.

Okay… so tally so far:
a) Job interview: maybe good/maybe bad, but probably good
b) gay friend syndrome: bad.

Here’s the next weird thing. I have an MP3 player. It’s been DOA since I got it. Had been playing phone tag with tech support. We tried everything… and it wouldn’t work. They finally call me back. We go thru the whole process again… and this time, out of the blue it works. What the fuck is that? Did I do something idiotic? I feel like such a dumbass… but the guy was really cool and not condescending… so that’s a plus. So… if you ever have a problem with an eDigital product… call tech support and ask for Fonda – he rocks! So now the MP3 player is working. Just gotta load all 3,000 songs on to it. Hmmm…

Now I’m watching the Smashing Pumpkins DVD… so I’m pretty happy. Gonna fix pasta & salad later… so that should be good too. Are things turning around?

Whatever. Weird.

[ mood | restless ]
[ music | Soundgarden – “Mind Riot” ]

Okay… so first, that water thing… turns out it was a broken main somewhere so now I’ve gotta boil water for like 48 hours. Blah.

Second… lord help me. I’ve found a camera I really wanna buy, but shouldn’t… And I found a place that sells it for 250 less than suggested retail. Ugh. Nevermind I have to send my current camera in to get repaired… actually that’s why I started looking for another camera. I hate the thought of being cameraless for a few weeks while this one gets repaired. Ugh. What to do. I’m such a gadget addict. I need help.

Third… mad props to Bitchygurl for calling me outta the blue at 11:30 tonight just to chat. I was so shocked to hear her voice… I was expecting either “I’m in jail, help me” or “I’m stuck in Hoboken, can I crash!” Not that she’s always looking for something… you just gotta realize she just usually doesn’t call outta the blue. We used to work together.. so our communication was usually centered around me slacking off work to sit in her cube and chat… but since I’ve gotten laid off, it’s now an IM-only affair… but now with the introduction of the phone call… Wow. It’s like sliced bread or something. Cut to the chase… it was great to get her call! Wheeeee… color me a happy pair of pants!

Ugh… but now I’m dying for conversation. After actually talking on the phone… I’m now jonzing for those funny really-long conversations I used to have. Like the kind when you were in college… at a diner… in the middle of the night, talking about whatever for hours over a plate of waffles and scattered, smothered and covered hashbrowns. Or like the phone calls I used to get from “the girl” where we’d talk on the phone for 6 or 7 hours and not realize it till the phone bill came. How come all my great conversational friends get married & have kids, or move away, or just dissappear. Am I a shitty friend? I’d like to say no… but the evidence is leading me to another conclusion. Ugh. Here’s my personal ad: man seeks great conversationalist… topics may vary, also looking for someone who likes the occassional night at home on the couch watching bad TV or great movies. Oh and sex too. That would be good. Oh yeah… must understand that occassionally I might need a night alone, and let me be. Blah. Is that asking too much. Am I really tired and ranting… yeah. I’m trying to keep myself from buying a camera… ugh.

Blah blah ugh. Must. Not. Buy. Camera. Blah. Ugh. Help. Me.