So I’m sitting in this meeting called “Pre-strategy” which is all about preparing for another meeting called – wait for it – “Strategy.” It’s one of the many meetings in which I’m the only male, not that it matters, it’s just an observation. A few minutes earlier I really just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, not any phrase in particular, just a high-pitched shriek. Instead I’m typing into my handheld like I’m taking an impressive amount of notes. It keeps me from wanting to scream. There are really only a few things I can do during this meeting: 1) scream, 2) start laughing at the girl sitting across from me who is as miserable as I am (occasionally we’ll catch each other’s eye and almost lose it), 3) play solitaire, 4) try to kill myself by digging at my wrists with my ballpoint pen, or 5) write an entry in the guise of taking copious notes. Number five seems like the best option right now, although I’ve been eyeballing my pen rather intensely. Right now at the other end of the table they’re chattering away about something, but I’m not really sure what. Hopefully I won’t get called on.

Okay I just contributed a sentence. It got shot down, which is par for the course. Typically what happens is that I suggest an idea or warn against something, it’s ignored but then in the end (weeks later) I was right. They don’t always ignore it, but enough that it’s what I expect to happen so it no longer bothers me.

Good god, the mindless drivel that makes up this meeting…

At least I get paid.