I’m bad at spending coins. I’m not sure why. A typical scenario: I purchase a bagel with butter – 75 cents. Now although I probably have 75 cents in my pocket I always end up reaching for the wallet to slap down a single. This has left me with tons of change scattered around the apartment… until today. When I cashed in my back-breaking haul of metal U.S. tender, I walked away with $405.01.

Good lord.