Mondays are never much fun, particularly when you’re not entirely in love with your job to begin with. I had a meeting this morning that was supposed to be a brainstorm about the future of the site I work on. For the most part it was a fun meeting, and exciting to talk about the future, but it was also annoying and slightly depressing.

The way my company is set up, there isn’t a specific online department. There are a couple of technology guys, and a group of producers in one department, and then just me in another department. I’m always kind of feeling caught in the middle. My boss doesn’t really know what I do. The other department quite often doesn’t keep me in the loop on projects, so I feel constantly out-of-touch. I’ve tried numerous times to insert myself in their world, and I’ve had some success with it, but on big picture stuff, I totally feel left out. And it gets tiring having to beg for info. Really, really tiring.

So in this meeting it comes across that they’ve already put a lot of thought and planning into the future – a lot of it is already decided. And of course I haven’t heard any of it before. It’s really exciting stuff, things I would have liked to have contributed too, but they didn’t include me. Come to think of it, I had to kind of beg to be put into this brainstorm meeting. At one point I even said “Wow, this sounds really great. I’d love to be involved in it. It sounds really fun.” I kind of got the head nod that really is just an eyeroll/patronizing glare.

They did ask me to keep my department from fucking up the names of projects (there was a conflict of a “their” department project name and an “our department project name). When I said, “Sure, I can try to help out there. But doesn’t the editorial director come up with all these names anyway? She’d probably be best suited to clear names,” I got the same head nod.

Eh.

Then to top it off, the current gf tells me that she’s going to the movies with her ex-bf sometime next week. I know I’m just being jealous and a guy, but it really makes me feel like I’m not giving her what she needs if she has to go out to a movie with the ex.

Double eh.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: The Soundtrack of Our Lives – “Ten Years Ahead”