So fuck Ticketmaster, fuck them in their big corporate ear. Got really, really great seats for Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age and Death From Above 1979 at the Garden from the NIN fan club. Neat deal, you’re limited to two tickets, but they print your name on the tickets. You have to pick them up the day of the show with photo ID, and go right in, means you can’t sell them – which means no scalpers. Seems like a great system to me.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: DFA1979 – “Blood On Our Hands”

So M. and I went out again tonight. We’ve come to the conclusion that the next movie we go to needs to be a comedy, because so far we’ve seen “War of the Worlds” and “Donnie Brasco” neither of which is condusive to whatever it is we’re doing.

So I think I really like this girl.

Lord help me.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Wax – “All Over Again”

So Beige and I were talking tonight at the sake bar, and we came up with a pretty strong theory. See, we’re both pussies… we’re the kind of guys who end up with lots of friends that are girls, because we’re not assholes enough to actually score the girls outright. We’ve come to the conclusion that John Cusack is a major factor here.

If you mention John Cusack to a girl, or start talking fondly about “Say Anything” or any of his other romantic comedies, they almost always go “Ohhhh, I love John Cusack.” Now they say this, and they might even think it – but they’ll always go home with the asshole, and then call you to say “God, I wish he was more like John Cusack… ya know… more like you.” So fuck John Cusack. You made me a pussy Cusack.

Oh yeah, and G.I. Joe pussied me up too. Knowing is half the battle – yeah right. All Yo Joe ever taught us was that no one ever dies when you shoot their plane up five feet from the ground, and good guy’s bullets look like red lasers, and bad guys shoot blue lasers. How am I supposed to survive in this world with that kind of information? So fuck you too G.I. Joe, all of you. Except Snake-Eyes. That guy was cool because he never said anything, and he could gut you before you could say “Who’s wolf is that?”

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Fireside – “Slipper Hero”

Joel’s done left Gizmodo. I like John and everything, but every once in a while Joel made a little trickle of piss shoot out while I was reading an article. I farted once while reading a John post, but I’m not sure the two were related. Plus he really hated the NY Times “Circuits” column, much as I do. See, they don’t even get a link, fuckers.

Anyhoo, dude done posted a list of his fave articles.

Well not really, but I did have a date tonight… weird! It went really, really well. Apparently I can be charming – who knew? The girl actually asked me out, which was oh, so refreshing. Apparently she’s been interested in me for a three years – we met by chance a while back but didn’t hang more than once or twice – and now certain events have brought us back together and she up and asked me out.

I think I really like her.

It’s scaring me a bit.

PIX OF THE DAY: Something on macro, but I’m not telling what.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Led Zeppelin – “Black Mountain Side”

The only good thing about being on a higher alert level for all transit, is that you get to see all the cool K9 unit dogs at the Port Authority every day. I saw a German Shepherd that was the size of a small horse this morning.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Ben Harper – “Ground On Down”

So pretty much out of nowhere, my company has decided to do background checks on all employees – staff, freelance, temps, even outside vendors. Kinda nutty. I was really pissed at first, mostly from a privacy standpoint – how can I trust the company with my personal info; how long do they hold it for; who do they share it with? I’ve got nothing to hide, and I can even see their point of making sure they’re not employing murderers and rapist, but it’s just not sitting well.

I did find some interesting info about the process though:

• It is legal to request background checks on existing employees.
• If you don’t sign the authorization allowing the check they could decide to terminate. Very few states require an specific grounds to terminate employees, since there is a doctrine called “at-will employment” that is the standard in almost every state.
• If your criminal history showed information that would now make you ineligible for employment, they could terminate your employment.
• You can ask, but there’s no requirement that they disclose the information you are seeking, i.e. they don’t have to disclose the criteria to you for their decision-making.
• Background checking companies have access to just about all public database information. Criminal histories are public records, so there’s no lack of information available, except juvenile criminal records.
• If they don’t specifically state that they are seeking continuing permission for future checks, they can only run your reports once. The form has to include a statement giving them permission to run it more than once.
• If they run a credit report, then it’s governed by a law called the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA). Your credit report will show general creditor information, but does not have specific shopping information.

Here’s some good info on background checks, both criminal and non-criminal:
www.privacyrights.org

SONG OF THE MOMENT: The Clash – “I Fought the Law”

Fuckin’ A this is a fun song…

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Audioslave – “Doesn’t Remind Me”
Buy

I’ve always liked Chris Rock, but tonight at the Nine Inch Nails show when I caught him headbanging to “Head Like a Hole” and singing the right lyrics, I gained an even higher level of respect for him.

Oh yeah, he was sharing the box with David Bowie among others.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Nine Inch Nails – “Burn”

I’m not sure of the exact reason – nothing specific has happened today (that I recall), but I’m in a really good mood. I’ll probably explore this more later, but I just wanted to capture the moment while it existed. That’s it. Happy. Weird.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: dada – “Moon”

Not a day goes by that someone different doesn’t come to me to talk about how crappy the overall situation is in our department. Everyone is very diplomatic about it at first, but eventually it ends up at the same place – three people are making this a shitty place to work – and they’re at the top of the food chain.

At least one person has gone higher up the rung to the company head to complain. Two more are set to shortly. Several are actively looking for jobs, and nearly everyone is passively waiting for the job market to improve.

It’s getting interesting.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Nine Inch Nails – “Leaving Hope”

Dropped my iPod on my way out the door on Thursday. I’ve dropped it before, we all have, but this time instead of hitting carpet, or hardwood, or cat, it hit concrete. I quickly picked it up once I quit gasping like a girl (I’ll admit it) and the display was still showing, so I thought, possibly outloud, “Sweet. Ol’ girl is still kicking.”

And then I hit the play/pause button.

Instead of the crunchy guitar of Helmet’s new album, I heard a sound I can only describe as a guinea pig being force-feed through a rusty garbage disposal… there was screaming, grunting and grinding sounds. At this point my sweet little 4g 40GB started vibrating in my hand – not a good sign. It then powered down and hasn’t come back on since. Now, being the caring parent I am, I decided to let this iPod move on to the bright light in the sky rather than artificially prolonging its life by any means available. Plus tech support said I’m shit outta luck.

Bye bye clickwheel iPod! It was a short, nine-month life but I hope you had as much fun as I did. BTW, I’m entertaining suggestions of what to do with the carcass. Leave me a comment if you’ve got any excellent ideas. Also, I’m looking for names for the newest member of the family, the 60GB photo, which despite being about the same size but with 50% more storage space, and a color screen, can never truly replace iPod #2. Oh, and I had to dust off iPod #1 for the commute on Friday – it’s scratched to hell, and the battery barely lasts a roundtrip commute, but it’s still hanging in there (normally as my bedroom stereo).

Listening to the new QOTSA album as I sit here at Starbucks… really enjoying it. I’m not missing Nick at all, but thank god Lanegan is back in the fold.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Queens of the Stone Age – “The Blood Is Love”

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. Sometimes when friends at work ask what I’m doing over a weekend, I’ll respond back “Sitting at home crying.” It’s a joke, really. But lately I’ve found myself crying for no particular reason. This morning it was on the train into work, I just start tearing up as sat there listening to music and zooming through the tunnel. I was running late to work, so the car was practically empty – I don’t think anyone noticed. I’m glad no one was around to ask “You alright?” because what would I say – “I dunno?”

I mean, work is frustrating, but not more so than the past year or so. And really, it seems silly to be upset by the job… I earn a decent wage. I have benefits. There’s no hard labor involved. How can I justify bitching about my job, when there’s people my age, and younger – kids – who signed up for as weekend warriors so they might be able to afford college, and now they’re driving around Iraq or Afghanistan in unarmored HUMVEEs hoping to God they’ll be able to go home with all the limbs they came in with… or just to go home at all. Or maybe they’re still walking around numb, because the day before they saw their best friend die when a roadside bomb exploded. Where the fuck do I come off complaining about a desk job in a highrise.

I wish I could say it’s the military situation that’s causing me to be upset, but the only reason I’m writing about it now, is because it was featured on ER tonight. It does upset me – it always has, even since I was a kid. I remember reading newspaper articles about a helicopter crash on base (we lived near one growing up) and feeling bad realizing that they had taken a job for a little bit of money, and with the understanding that they might be called on to die. For me.

But I haven’t been actively thinking about this. So what’s going on with me? I keep wondering if I’m deluding myself. If there’s something that I should really be upset about, but I’m masking it somehow. Maybe it is just the worries of the world, of the job, whatever – lurking underneath.

I’m not trying to be bitchy. I’m not asking for sympathy or trying to have a pity party – just trying to type it out so I can understand it. Hopefully it’ll come to me, or just go away. Maybe it’s just the snow.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Explosions in the Sky – “Lonely Train”

I’m a bit drunk as I’m writing this, so bear with me. So, tonight there was a little unofficial work drinkfest for a girl who’s leaving us to go make documentaries – rock on sister! I’m sitting there drinking and I get a call from “The Drunk.”

A bit of background – The Drunk and I met at a friend’s wedding party thing (they eloped so it was an excuse to get drunk and collect presents). We were both wasted, but had fun goofing off, and I made sure she got home okay (I was a complete gentleman). Anywho, a few months later the married couple said “Hey, she’s into you, you should call her.” So I did, and we hung out a couple of times. I felt absolutely no spark from her whatsoever, and she kind of annoyed me a bit so I quit calling (although she didn’t…). So about a year later, she calls, and I’m in a mood for a drink, so we went out and got plastered (we always get plastered, hence her nickname) and ended up making out at the bar (classy!). I’m gonna time compress here – nothing else ever happened – basically because I’m always convinced that no one could possibly like me, so I didn’t pursue her at all, despite obvious interest (hindsight is a bitch). Anyhow, we’re just friends now, and that’s fine.

So I’m at the bar and I get the call. I told her I was hanging with friends, and she was more than welcome to come get drunk. She did (much to my suprise). Nothing too crazy happened (she hit on my married friend – but that’s okay, because I hit on another married friend for no reason). She seemed to get along with everyone…

The funny, and great part was, at least twice, two different people from work came up to me and said “You can do much better than her.” I made it clear we weren’t a couple and said “Yeah, I know.”

I gotta say, that’s the nicest thing that anyone has said in a while. Because, while – yeah, something about her is troublesome, she’s pretty and funny – and not unlikeable – so if people think I can do better – that’s a good compliment (in my book). And a little esteem-booster.

Now I’ve just got to find me a nice girl.

But not too nice.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Pell Mell – “Interloper”

So I spotted this two blocks from my apartment on the way home tonight.

Which is weird for two reasons: a) I’ve been craving Krystals for the past week. And b) the closest Krystal is in Kentucky – about 800 miles away.

For those unfamiliar, a Krystal is very similar to a White Castle, in that it’s small and square, but the taste is just a little different (I’d argue better) and they have really tasty fries. Now I’m starved.

In other odd news, I’m taking a programming class this semester, but we’re having it in a regular lecture room, not a computer lab. It’s weird taking notes with pencil, with no way to evaluate code in class. Plus, the homework we have to burn to CD or floppy and hand in the next week. Weird.

My friend who’s taking the class with me, swung by work to pick me up. While we were talking one of the beautiful coworkers came up and started chatting me up. After she left my friend commented, “Man, she was really flirting with you.” I agreed but pointed out she’s married, and that a few of the married girlies there flirt with me. WTF is up with that anyway? Eh.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Living Colour – “Nothingness”

P.S. – I’ve been getting a lot of comment spam here. If anyone reading this is a WordPress user that’s found a decent, easliy implemented solution, lemme know.

I can’t get shit done today; my mind is just all over the place. Everytime I sit down to do something, about two minutes later my brain is drifting. I’d almost say I have adult attention deficit disorder, but I think those kinds of “diseases” are bullshit, like lactose intolorence and the Easter Bunny.

The gig is really starting to get to me again, but a quick survey around the office indicates that plenty of other people are annoyed too. The overall complaint is how disorganized the projects we receive are. We’ll be waiting for assignments for weeks, and when they finally come in, they’re missing most of the useful info. And of course they’re due the next day. Oh, and they’ll change the direction of the brief 180 degrees while you’re in the middle of it.

I think the problem really lies in the management of our department. The VeeP, who I report to is an awesome person. We’re friends, and I totally love her from that standpoint, but she’s got to be one of the worst managers I’ve ever encountered. She’s smart from a business standpoint, but when it comes to managing people – she sucks. No information gets shared down the department line. Decisions will be made in people’s offices, or in the hallway, but no one shares the info with the grunts doing the work. It’s like we’re all working blindfolded in a minefield, while the commanding officer is sitting back at base with a map of all the booby traps. Blech.

I’m equal parts bored & frustrated at the office now. Frustration stems from the above plus the fact that I have no one to work with on any of my projects. I’m a one-person department, so I do all the planning/strategy and then implement everything. Normally that wouldn’t annoy me – I like being hands on. The problem is, that all the hands on stuff I’m doing is daily maintenance crap. It’s hard to feel inspired when I’m doing data-entry and spreadsheets all day. And that’s the thing, my job is supposed to be a creative one – I’m supposed to be pitching ideas and coming up with innovative ways to do things… but I’m drowing in all the daily mess. And when I get some free time, I’m too annoyed to be creative. I’ve pitched maybe five decent ideas in the three years I’ve been here.

For the past year I’ve been asking them to let me hired a coordinator of some kind so I can share the workload, and free up some time to do more creative things. And also to have someone in my field to bounce ideas off of. Every time I ask about the status I get the “we’re just waiting on budget and headcount…” I bet nothing happens this year.

I’m at the point now where I really just want to leave, and start over somewhere new. A friend of mine got my hopes up a couple of months back — she thought they’d be hiring at her job, a place I would absolutely love to be. I love her. I have another friend heading there. I’ve met some of her other coworkers and they’re great! Turns out they’re not hiring afterall. Ugh. The job market is shit for my type of deal. I just totally feel trapped right now… I’m just not sure what to do. I went to one of the HR/career people here a while back, and after about five minutes, she said, “You need to read this book…” I got through about five pages of the self-help/find-your-perfect-job book before I started dry-heaving.

Sorry for being whiney. I’m the office therapist here, so every day about five or six different people come by and shut my door to vent… just needed to let off some steam of my own.

On the plus side, my little bout of insomnia seems to have subsided for now. And the cats have been “talking” a lot lately – making all kinds of weird noises – it’s hilarious.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Poster Children – “Not Like You”

50,000 people dead so far? Thousands more displaced. My hometown is only 12,000 people. So bizarre it just doesn’t seem real.

Amazon has set up a really easy way to donate to the American Red Cross’ South Asia Earthquake & Tsunami Disaster Relief efforts. If you’re into that kind of thing, check it out here.

I wasn’t planning on going to the last show. This entire week has been overload – a lot of shows. A party. My year-end project and final. You get the drift. Well, around 9pm I started thinking, “I wonder if they’ll ever tour again. I wonder if the last show this tour is the last show ever. I wonder if they’ll play ‘River Euphrates’?” So I decided that I would answer one Craig’s List ticket posting – and if the seller called me back, then cool – fate is telling me to go to the show…

I’m so glad I went – fucking phenomenal show – and yes they did play “River Euphrates” — holy shit. I really wanted to hear the opening band – Fifty Foot Wave – but I ended up at some meet and greet somewhere in the bowels of the Manhattan Center where I got to shake Frank Black’s hand. Pretty neat way to end the week.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Pixies – “River Euphrates”

For someone who didn’t think they would ever get to see the Pixies live… I don’t know how to finish this sentence other than BAM:

Damn these have been fun shows – I’m not even sure what to say about them, you kinda had to be there to get it. I just want to make sure I remember this feeling – hence the ticket stubs in this here blog.

On the flipside, I saw the single worst set of my life tonight – Le Tigre. Good lord. I like the idea of Le Tigre, and even the singles I’ve heard have been enjoyable, but their performance as opener – ugh. It was like a middle school talent show. They didn’t really play instruments. They couldn’t dance. And the singing was more like bad shout-rapping. A little part of my soul died last night – thanks girls.

Of coure the Pixies came and grew it back for me.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Pixies – “I Bleed”