All posts by lance

it’s a problem of motivation

I feel like I can’t get anything done. The weekend has come and gone, and all I’ve really got to show for it is a clean apartment. I don’t know… I just can’t seem to get it together.

I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow. If I stay home, I’ll probably do work… and I’ll most likely get more done here than at work. Random thoughts – yeah, but I can’t sleep, so that’s what you’re getting.

I did write my sister a letter today, so that’s something.

I think I miss California. Weird.

I’m going sleep now. Or at least try.

too tired to write

It’s been a long week so far. I really should write an actual real entry, but I just don’t have the desire nor mental dexterity at the moment to put anything coherent down. I want to finish the road trip stories soon, and spout about my fairly uneventful L.A. trip… but damn I’m tired.

My ch-ch-ch-chia Homer has finally sprouted “hair” but the odd thing is, he has male-pattern baldness… bizarre. Pictures to follow shortly, but again, tired – and the camera is all the way in the other room.

::sigh::

almost famous – part 2

I didn’t get much done this weekend, or at least not as much as I had planned. I’m still fighting this cold/cough combo that grabbed me in the temperature battle royale last week. I should actually be in the other room finishing up some concert photos, but when I walked into the kitchen to toss out the Chinese food I saw a few stars peaking out from behind the clouds, so I decided to settle down and crank out some thoughts in my “cafe.” So… back to the tour.

Day 2: Buffalo
The booking agent – I want to beat him senseless. That was one of thoughts drifting through my head while driving the 4.5 hours from Albany to Buffalo. Not so much because of the Albany – Buffalo leg, but because of the Buffalo – Vermont leg which would take me through Albany again. Kind of like going from NYC to Chicago by way of Los Angeles. Not exactly… but kinda…

I can’t remember much of the drive anymore and that’s probably a good thing. It’s probably worth clarifying at this point, that the show wasn’t actually in Buffalo, but in Williamsville, which isn’t much more than a couple of strip malls and crap load of car dealerships. I drove down to the venue first, which I passed by twice. I was looking for the band’s name on the marquee, but it wasn’t there, so I kept missing it. It seemed a little odd.

After locating the club, I drove to the motel which was a straight shot up the road. I found the tour bus, so I knew I was in the right place. Now at this point, only the tour manager knows I’m following them around so when I spot the bassist walking down the hall, I decided to hang back a bit (I don’t want them to think I’m stalking). I got the little key card for my room. After some fumbling with the lock the door swung open, and I was greeted with a smell, that can best be described as “ass.” Not the good kind, as in “I’m getting some ass later.” It was the bad kind, as in “geez dude, your room smells like ass.” Ugh. I noticed the ass smell all over the hotel as I walked around, so I decided not to try and get an assless room. I dropped the bags off, locked up the camera and laptop, grabbed my Rolling Stone and decided to make for a cafe to kill a few hours before the show. On my way out, I run into the drummer who gives me the “what the hell are you doing here” look. I just shot him a quick remark, something along the lines of “swanky pad huh?” Then I bolted.

Now in this little “city” there are basically two roads, so I decided to try going left. After about 15 minutes I found a Starbucks in one of the many, many strip malls. So there I sat, with my Rolling Stone and my mocha frappe. I sat and read. And sat and sipped. And sat. And sat.

Yeah. Weeeee.

I finally decided to head back to the motel. My hope was that the ass smell as gone, or at least less concentrated. On my way, I spied an Arby’s and just had to have a Beef N’ Cheddar. I used to be ashamed of my Arby’s love, but after talking to a couple of “normal” people who shared my little food fetish, I’m proud to admit that I enjoyed my Beef N’ Cheddar, and the curly fries that came with it. So there.

So I’m now, finally returning to the EconoAss. As I’m walking through the lobby my cell rings. I can’t place the area code on the display, but I answered anyway. Turns out it’s the bassist. I’m not exactly sure how he got my number but there are some theories. At any rate, he’s wondering if I can help them out with a little errand and so about fifteen minutes later, my SUV is packed with a guitarist, a bassist and a guitar tech, and we’re in search of a health food store. We had the address so we started driving down the road. We cruised for about 20 minutes and we seemed to be heading in the right direction – the numbers were going the direction we wanted them to. We were looking for 5415. We ended up stopping at 5417 or something like that, but there was no health food store in sight. What the hell? We call the store and they inform us, “Yeah, you can’t count on the numbers in this town. They don’t mean anything. You’re about 20 minutes away in the opposite direction.” Doh.

We finally get to the store and everyone proceeds to shop. I’m so stoked right now. I’m running errands with the band. A band I really love. How cool is that. Maybe a little pathetic, but still pretty cool. There’s another stop to be made at the Williamsville equivalent of a Rite Aid. The bass player heads into the store. The guitar tech is on his cell, which leaves me and the guitarist, who I always act like a dumb ass around. Except, something has happened. I’m having an actual conversation. We’re talking about the state of radio. I’m explaining what I do for a living. He’s telling me about a new project he’s working on. We’re just chatting. And it’s good. And I’m not a dumb ass. I guess there’s something about getting lost with someone else in Williamsville that kind of bonds you. Or at least gives you the ability to carry on a conversation.

I drop them back off at the bus which is now at the venue and I park around front. I made a couple of phone calls and then went inside. The venue was great, great sound, decent lighting, nice bar. However… by the time the guys come on, there are maybe 8 fans standing right in front of the stage, and maybe another 15 in the rest of the venue. The promoter dropped the ball. The guys put on a fantastic show as always. And, I got a song dedicated to me – “Folsom Prison Blues” – Johnny Cash, very cool. But also a little strange. During the quest for the health food store, I told the guys about this dream I had the night before that involved Johnny Cash & Soundgarden… but I didn’t tell the guy who dedicated the song, and neither had they… spooky.

After the show they invited me on the bus for a beer. I tried not to overstay my welcome, so I took off after a few minutes.

Next leg… Vermont.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Sonic Youth – “100%”

almost famous

Yeah… it snowed. And of course I’m sick. I’m sitting here with a belly full of burrito & chips, topped off with NyQuil and a cup of tea with honey. There’s a good chance I’ll doze off before I finish this… but here goes.

So the first week of March, I decided to finally take a vacation and hit the road. This wasn’t a random road trip – it had a purpose and a destination (several of them in fact). I was following one of my favorite bands around. I just happen to do some work for them on the side, so all the shows were free admission, I just had to provide the transportation and board.

Day 1: Albany
Albany isn’t much of a haul from here, so I didn’t pickup the car till midday. Even though I was to be the only one in the car, I decided to get an SUV – which came in handy later in the trip. I printed out multiple directions from Mapquest, grabbed my road atlas, loaded the car with my two bags, aimed it north and hit the gas. The drive was entirely uneventful but I was bouncing the whole time listening to Rage Against the Machine & System of a Down… which is very bouncy music to drive to. My directions took me right to the club. I decided to try and park so I could scope the venue and surrounding area out. It was surprisingly easy to get a spot, so I hopped out of the car with my laptop bag (no way I was leaving it on the street) and walked across the street to the show. I was pretty early, but I spotted the guys’ bus, so I decided to lurk around for a second. While I was on my cell phone checking messages (there were none) I scoped the bass player in the laundromat adjacent to the club. I couldn’t decide whether to approach him or not. We had met several times before, but I get shy in these situations. I finally decided to walk up and say “hi.” We exchanged pleasantries for a second, but he seemed to be concentrating on his laundry, and I was feeling awkward, so I bolted with a “I’ll see you at the show – gonna grab food.”

Rather than grabbing food, I decided to find a hotel, if nothing else, so I could drop off my laptop bag and the rest of my gear. I wanted to find someplace relatively close to the club. My aim was to be within walking distance, so I could drink… but there didn’t seem to be anything close by. I came to the conclusion that if nothing else, I should at least be someplace that was a pretty straight path to the venue, so I could find my way back and forth. I ended up staying at the Crowne Plaza which of course was expensive, but worth it – it had a WiFi connection in the room. Sweet. I dropped of my crap and headed back to the club.

I was able to park in the same exact spot I had left but a half-hour prior. Nice. There turned out to be a fairly clean looking diner next to the club. I settled into a seat at the bar and ordered a burger. It was heaven. My waitress/bartender was new – it was her second day, but she was doing pretty well. Of course she was wearing low-rise jeans, and a low-cut shirt, so even if she had spilled scalding water in my lap, I probably would have thought she was doing a bang-up job. Of course, the seat I chose was the one closest to the mumbling older gentlemen who kept trying to talk her up all night. She kept coming up to me to talk to escape him, so I obliged her with some mindless chatter. If she hadn’t been desperate to escape mumble-guy, I don’t think I would have been so chatty. Of course she probably wouldn’t have given me the time of day either, so the point is moot.

Oh my, the NyQuil is kicking in. And the tea is pretty good.

While I’m enjoying my burger the guitarist & the road manager come in to eat. There was no way I was going to disturb them during a meal, so I kept my position and finished my food and then slipped out quietly.

At the club I found a comfortable bar stool (keeping a lookout for any potential mumblers) and hit the bartender up for a Jack N’ Coke – just one… to settle down a bit. After all, I was driving later.

The performance space was actually upstairs over the bar, so I made my way upstairs. I walked up to the merch guy and introduced myself. He was a really nice guy. The kind of guy you’d say was “swell.” Very chatty, very into whatever you were saying. The kind of guy who kind of flirts with everyone. With the ladies, it’s flirting, with the guys it’s the kind of flirting you do just to be nice. It’s not a sexual thing, he just wants to be your pal. A genuinely nice guy.

I decided to go ahead and sacrifice my hearing early into this tour, so I scoped out a place near the stage. I was standing there maybe ten minutes, just people-watching when a gentlemen in a goatee and short hair makes eye contact and says. “Lance?” Oh man the guy looked familiar, but I couldn’t place where I knew him from until about 15 minutes into the conversation. Turns out he was one of the guys I got into “business” with a few years back when some of the guys for tonight’s band were in another band. Things started looking shaky, so I jumped ship early into the process with everyone’s blessing. The deals soon fell apart, and I was the only one to survive to go into business with the band the second time around. So there’s a little bit of awkward small talk (at least on my part), but thankfully the band came on and torched the place shortly thereafter. It was a great show, the guys were in fine form and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Afterwards, I went over to hang at the merch table when I spotted the tour manager. I introduced myself and he remembered me from the last tour. I hit him up for hotel info since I hadn’t made any lodging plans yet. He was very gracious, and invited me on the bus to lay out the next few days for me. That was my first time on a tour bus – very nice. I got all the info down on a sheet of paper. Said howdy to the drummer who remembered me from previous encounters and headed back upstairs to say “hi” to the rest of band.

The drummer is super easy to talk to, so we chatted for a while. The bass player is pretty friendly too. Actually they all are… but for some reason whenever I talk to the guitarist, I always feel like a dumb ass. He’s sitting there asking me how it’s going, how’s my life… and he’s really curious, and all I could think to say was “work kinda sucks right now.” Ugh. Hopefully I can redeem myself later in the tour. After doing a ton of autographs and meet n’ greets, everyone piles back outside. The band onto the bus, myself out to the car, and off to the hotel. Tomorrow is a long drive, and I’m exhausted already. A little WiFi session, and I was off to sleep. Buffalo, here I come.

To be continued…

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Air – “Alpha Beta Gaga”

nice night

It was actually nice weather-wise today, so I stopped by the pier on my way home to sit and people watch. There weren’t many people, so I called a friend and chatted till my phone died. I love sitting there and relaxing.

Of course, it’s supposed to snow tomorrow and Wednesday.

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PIX OF THE DAY: Tonight.
© 2004 permalance.com

grrrrrrr

My newest pet peeve. People who type the body of e-mails in the subject line of e-mails. For example:

to: lance
from: cynthia
subject: that project that you’re working on needs to be done by thursday if at all possible. thanks. cynthia.
body:

What the hell is that? I don’t know about the e-mail client you’re using, but in Outlook, it’s really difficult to read a long subject line. How about this instead.

to: lance
from: cynthia
subject: that project…
body: can you finish that new project by thursday? that would be great.

Ah. Much better.

I thought about sending a company-wide e-mail with the subject line: hey can we please not put the entire message you’re attempting to send in the subject line because it’s really difficult to read and, hey it’s just wrong, or i can just take my pitchfork and hurl it towards your head. what do you think? thanks. lance.

on the bus

This morning on my ride in, I noticed the guy sitting next to me was intently reading this thick, stapled deck of paper. He was wearing a business suit, so I assumed it was some important document he had to review prior to “the big meeting.”

It was a rule-book for a fantasy baseball league.

I don’t get the fascination with baseball at all, so the concept of fantasy baseball leagues I find completely odd.

But don’t get me wrong. I love America, apple pie & mom. And if anyone is brave enough to strap on body armor and a kevlar helmet and sit on deck waiting for a moronic president and an impotent congress to send them someplace I don’t wanna go… well, I got your back.

But baseball. Eh.

a couple of random thoughts

Sometimes I feel so lost – like, “what the hell am I doing here?”

The other day I’m walking back to the office after grabbing some lunch. I’m looking up at the building as I’m getting closer and thinking, “man this building is big.” Then all of a sudden I realized – I’m working in New York, and I have a career. When the hell did this happen?

As it turns out, about seven years ago.

——

I don’t like Sunday nights. Around 10 or 11pm, I always come to the conclusion that I’ve wasted the weekend. I didn’t go out and do anything culturally significant. I didn’t get much personal work done (taxes still await); I didn’t get much freelance work done (so tedious this time around). On the plus side, I didn’t take any day job work home. But still. It’s Sunday and I’m sitting at home watching television, with nothing really to show for it. Blech.

A more positive and interesting post is coming soon. Just doing a little venting right now.

Sigh.

duane reade

I can’t stand this pharmacy, but on a day when you forget to put on deodorant, it’s nice to have one in the lobby. And this cashier was actually courteous and efficient… no eye-rolling, no throwing the receipt at me. We asked each other how the day was going. It was like a nice, friendly, normal, workday conversation, except she was handing me a little baggie with some Arrid in it.

And a candy bar.

😛

antsy

I have stuff to do but I don’t find any of it appealing, so here I sit typing and procrastinating. Blah. I need to make a bunch of hotel reservations, but I don’t feel like messing with it. I need to answer a bunch of work e-mails, but I can’t stand to look at them. I need to do mods to a bunch of web pages, but *blech*.

My Mom is having surgery tomorrow, so I’m a little worried. It’ll be fine though.

Blah.

cafe lance

So I’m writing this entry in my kitchen. I was doing dishes a few minutes ago and realized that I rarely use the kitchen, other than to cook (or what I call cooking) and to do the dishes. I think the kitchen table has seen one, maybe two meals. So I thought, “what the heck” and brought the laptop & the iPod in. I think I like writing here. It’s like a little cafe. I have a small table, just big enough for two. There are some candles burning behind my screen, and I’m looking out at views I don’t normally take in for this long. To my right I can see a bunch of little apartment buildings with parts of Jersey City rising up behind. Over my shoulder and up the hill is The Doric – a rather tall apartment building in Jersey City, or Union City… the city limits kind of blur together here. That’s something that doesn’t happen back home. There are fifteen or twenty miles between towns there… here they just run together with only a block and some shrubs separating them.

Work has been insanely busy lately. It’s good to be busy, but it is getting a little tiring. I had my annual review last week and there was talk of taking on new responsibilities, etc., but the problem that came up is that I don’t have enough time. This week I’m supposed to keep a journal of what I do, so my VeeP and I can talk about where to trim my schedule. Along with that I’m going to try to start getting into work earlier, so I can set up my day before it gets taken over with meetings. We’ll see how goes.

Okay, I’m definitely liking this kitchen thing. There are no distractions, it’s peaceful.

Last week was all work, nothing much else was going on, but the previous couple of weeks, I actually made it out of the house & office a bit. It started by going out with my friend Courtney for drinks. We got nicely sloshed and talked “The Nipple” which was consuming both of our workdays at that point. Post drinks it was Subway sandwiches. The next day it was Spanish cuisine with Todd. We worked together a few years back and now he does some freelance work for me now and then. It’s really good to get together with him and just shoot the breeze. We have a similar sense of humor, and lean the same way politically usually. He’s from a kind of redneck part of the world too, so at some point we always drift into redneck accents and make fun of our beginnings. It was a really good night, filled with sangria, chorizo and belly laughs.

At this point, I can’t remember what else happened that week, which sucks, because I think something else did. I’ll try not to procrastinate on the postings again. Blah.

So the next week, I went with drinks again on a Monday with a friend of a friend. We had met briefly a few months earlier and hit it off and ended up running into each other again so drinks were scheduled. I was an idiot for the first few minutes. I get nervous when meeting new people and end up being all weird with the small talk, but after a little bourbon, I loosened up. We had an odd moment early in the evening when we both realized aloud that we each knew nothing about the other. We ended up having a really good time drinking heavily and trading barbs back and forth. It was interesting. And it made me realize that I don’t meet new people that often. I’ve gotta get back on that.

That Friday I ended up going out for last-minute drinks with a couple of people from work. We tried a new bar across from work. It ended up being expensive, but the drinks were funky and very alcohol-rich. Everything was going swimmingly, until one of the co-workers started spouting off about something she shouldn’t have about work. I just tried to dodge the subject, but the damage was done. It put me in a really awkward place, and I ended up having to say something to my supervisor. I wouldn’t have normally, but what she was telling, directly impacted someone at work in an unfair way. It’s hard to explain without being specific, but I feel better about telling my VeeP, but now I feel awkward around the co-worker. She doesn’t know I’ve said anything, and she might not even remember telling me… but… ugh.

Valentine’s Day… which is normally a day that, quite frankly, sucks, was actually very special this year. I ended up spending it with my best friend in the entire world. We had a wonderful time. It was one of those odd nights where you just really connect with someone on a whole different level… emotional, spiritual, something. We just really connected and had a wonderful night listening to music, talking, laughing… I get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. I’m giddy.

I watched the season finale of Sex and the City earlier. I was happy with how it ended, one of the better series finales. I started watching the retrospective that came on before the show, but I haven’t finished it yet. To be honest, it seemed a bit self-serving, and if it’s possible for a show to be conceited, it was.

Okay… now I want a mocha frappucinno, but unfortunately Cafe Lance doesn’t serve that.

Blah.

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Smashing Pumpkins – “Mayonaise”

candles

My best friend’s father died tonight at 9:30pm, and I don’t know what to tell her. There’s nothing I can say to make her feel better. There aren’t words that I can recite to make the emptiness go away. I told her, “if there’s anything you need, I’m here” and her immediate response was, “I need a hug.” I’m only 45 minutes away from her, but I’ve never felt further away from her than I did right then. I hugged a pillow and told her that I was imagining it was her, but is that good enough? What can you do? The easy answer, the one that everyone will tell you is “just be there for her.” But that won’t really fix the damage, you can’t uncrash a car. I’m imagining it’s like a car wreck, but instead of your body being twisted and torn, it’s your soul. How do you repair that?

So tonight, the world is now short one father, one grandfather, one husband & one friend. And my best friend’s soul is being twisted and torn, and I’ll stand with her, and I’ll be there for her because that’s what you do.

But it’s not enough.

Just pix

I’ve been in front of a computer all day – I just don’t feel like typing anything more. But here are some pix I meant to put up last week. Maybe tomorrow night with the stories…

© 2003 permalance.com
PIX OF THE DAY: I wonder what the question was…
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PIX OF THE DAY: Chia Homer going for a nice long soak.
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PIX OF THE DAY: Smile!
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PIX OF THE DAY: They finally hung my bulletin board at work.
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PIX OF THE DAY: That’s back when I wasn’t busy.
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PIX OF THE DAY: Nope. Not busy at all.
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PIX OF THE DAY: But that was last week.
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SONG OF THE MOMENT: Lush – “Sweetness and Light”

And the exhaustion continues

So another of my hard drives failed… First there was the one in the Tivo – which sucked as the unit was only 18 months old, but of course out of warranty. So, now I have a hacked Tivo with a new hard drive. Then, two nights ago I hear this horrible racket coming from the other room… more specifically from inside the PC case. Long story short, it was four-year-old drive that I wasn’t actually using to store anything (I had my suspicions that it was going to die). Anyway, always back up your crap. I do, and so I’m feeling no pain, other than the annoyance of opening up my case to take out what is now being used as a paperweight…

I’ve gone out a lot this week, so consequently I’m really tired. Monday night it was drinks after work. Tuesday – I think I did something, but now I can’t remember. Wednesday I worked till 9pm, then joined the gang for karaoke. I hadn’t planned on getting up there, my voice has been disappearing with the never ending cough, but after several drinks I decided to give “A View to A Kill” a shot. I don’t think it was too horrible, but my voice did disappear and do that Peter Brady thing during the chorus. Afterwards I couldn’t talk. But I could eat pizza which is what we did afterwards. Tonight my good friend and former co-worker Brenda made an appearance so we went out to dinner with another friend, and then ran into another co-worker. We all had steak – it was wonderful. The conversation turned to work at some point and we all complained about various situations, etc. – it was therapeutic. There were drinks there as well and we hung out for quite a while just shooting the breeze. The one disturbing (or actually, the one really, really disturbing) thing that happened was that we discovered that someone had left a used maxi-pad just laying in the bathroom on the handle thing that wheelchair-bound patrons use to help them on and off. Ugh. Nasty. And this was a nice restaurant.

Anyway, I’ve been out a lot, so e-mails have gone unanswered, websites have gone un-updated and general laziness has ensued. We’ll get it all cleared up this weekend. That and laundry. Swear.

© 2003 permalance.com
PIX OF THE DAY: I wish someone had salted my sidewalk…
© 2003 permalance.com

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Tones On Tail – “Go!”

I love music

I’m so exhausted right now. I went to see Joie Calio of the band dada last night. It was just a great evening, everything just worked out so well. He was playing only four blocks from my house for starters – I love my new ‘hood. Second, I met a ton of great people in the flesh that I’ve known from the message boards for a while – and they were so warm and fun to be with. We hung out after the show for 3 hours and just talked music, life, everything – along with the Joie and Gregory the guitarist. It was like a big group of friends reuniting or something – I can’t really express it well (did I mention I’m exhausted) – but it was magical, as was the music. I swear, I get goose bumps when this guy sings. And then when he gets together with the whole band – it’s like being inside a musical orgasm. I mean they’re all amazing in their own right, but when the get together as a group – it’s just mind blowing. The way they play off each other and the audience. I was at a show last year, and Michael broke his high E at the end of a solo, so he walks offstage to go change it and Phil and Joie, without missing a beat, go into this really intense drum & bass (not the genre) improv piece for 5-10 minutes. I mean, here’s a fuck-up and it turns into this crazy, really full-sounding instrumental piece that would put most bands’ studio albums to shame. And the audience, it’s unbelievable how much the fans love this band. I’ve never really seen anything like it, they’re so hard core and so dedicated, but they enjoy themselves more than any group of people I’ve ever seen. They get into each song, each note, they hang on it – they know each and every song by heart, and when the band goes into an extended jam, the just keep on rocking along… it’s like everyone in the band, and everyone in the room, just mesh into this sea musical bliss. dada hits the road in a couple of weeks – can’t wait. I’m going to take off from work, rent a car, and hit as many east coast dates as I can. Plus, all the guys in the band, are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I mean, I’m sitting at the bar last night before the show, and Joie walks up to me, and says “hey man, just wanted to say hi.” — that’s something a fan would do to a band member, and he’s coming up to talk to me. The music is mind blowing, the chemistry is mind blowing, the fans are mind blowing – my brain is shot.

© 2003 permalance.com
PIX OF THE DAY: No, I said rollover minutes, not runover minutes…
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SONG OF THE MOMENT: Camper Van Beethoven – “Pictures of Matchstick Men”

spam

Have you noticed the odd spam subject lines lately? I got the funniest one the other day, but of course I can’t remember it. I’ve been getting high on NyQuil for the past couple of weeks and I think it’s affecting my memory. And I’m becoming paranoid. Did anyone hear that? Huh? Anyway, let’s see what’s in ye olde inbox right now:

“kaiser semaphore” – from Alice Riley
“melodious lucia paramagnet ecuador sao” – from Laurel Ross
“piety forbes hydrodynamic” – from Bradley Purvis
“cyrillic eukaryote complaint expansive hetman” – from Basil Arroyo

Any of these would make fine band names I might add. I think we should form a bunch of bands, each named for a spam e-mail, and go on a package tour. Any takers?

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Eels – “It’s a Motherfucker”