I feel like a total dick. I just realized I only tipped the Chinese food guy like 50 cents. Ugh. I wasn’t paying attention to the bill and thought I was giving him like a 4 buck tip, but I wasn’t. I feel like a total asshole. I was wondering why he was looking at me funny… I usually overtip, so I guess my karma is going to be okay, but oh man… that look he shot me. I didn’t realize till after he drove away.

Now I’ll be scared to order from there again for fear they’ll sabotage my food. Oh man.

This confession is making me feel somewhat better, but blah. I’m no longer hungry.

[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | Alice In Chains – “Died” ]

Not a huge suprise, but fucking sucks anyway

[ mood | hot ]
[ music | The Specials – “Too Hot” ]

Okay… screw this. Count me out. I’m done. I don’t want a summer this year – I’ll go straight back into fall thank you. April 16th and it’s 92… what the fuck is that? I guess its good that I found out early on my office could double as a pizza oven. I went out and bought a cheap fan. I’m not sure whether it actually cooled down the room, or the the sound of the constant whirring actually calmed me down. Eh. I had been bitching that I got no natural daylight, but after sitting in someone else’s office that faces the sun, I’m kinda glad I’m in a cave.

I must be in a rut because the rest of the day was pretty shitty as well. I’ve been arguing/haggling with the finance VP for the past few days over what should be a $1,600 computer. We have a great coordinator who normally works on the on-air promo schedule, but she’s pretty good graphic designer as well, so we’ve been taking advantage of her talent to great banners. Since we’re Flash-heavy now, and she’s down with Flash we wanted her to create some of the pieces too. It would be a great deal for us because we’d basically be getting design work for free, and for her because she could create some work for her portfolio and have a creative outlet in her otherwise non-creative position. So I did what any half-assed producer would do, I requested a G4 for her, so she could do design work on a proper station. The current machine she has is a desktop PC that’s not optimized for graphic work… it’s for spreadsheets, promo calendar’s etc. Another reason for the Mac is that we already have a huge library of Mac fonts we use on the site, and I don’t wanna have to purchase the same libraries on PC. Anyway the VP is so tight that she doesn’t wanna shell for the Mac even though it’ll probably save us money in the end. She basically wants to spend money to repurchase all the fonts, and add some ram to her shitty PC (not that all PCs are shitty… PCs rule). I tried all kinds of arguments, but none of them worked. For me it’s not even about squeezing the money out, but giving this coordinator the right tools to do the job… to keep her happy and interested in her job, because she’s great at what she does, but I don’t want her to get bored doing her normal scheduling gig. They already pay her the minimum they can get away with, I at least wanted her to be able to do the lil creative part of her gig with ease… but I lost. I wish I could get the VeeP to look at this as an investment in personnel rather than just a hardware cost but there’s no getting that through her thick eggheaded skull. Eh.

…and I think I’m starting to hate one of my bosses. She’s just so flakey. She doesn’t understand basic concepts, and she doesn’t pay attention during meetings. I’ll be sitting there trying to explain a strategy document to her, and she’ll be reading e-mails laughing. Its even more annoying when she’s the one that requested the document and/or meeting. Blah. There’s lots o’ issues with her, but I’m too freaking hot to mention them all.

Did I mention how hot it is?

On the weird clone tip… I saw a Bitchygurl clone today. It was bizarre… they looked so alike.

Saw “The Kids In The Hall” live last night at The Beacon… they were funny, but I’m too hot to describe it.

Blah.

[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | U2 – “In God’s Country” ]

I finally finished updating the [REDACTED]. Ugh.

[REDACTED]

[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Fishbone – “A Selection” ]

I always pick the wrong time to write these things. By the time I think about my day, it’s at the end of the damn day when I’m all tired and not in the mood to write. Blergh.

I haven’t really connected with that many people at the new gig. I guess it takes time. Plus I’m in my cave of an office most days, so I guess I’m not interacting that much. There is one girlie that I feel pretty open with. Of course she’s a lesbian, so in some weird way I’m playing the gay friend again… except that I’m straight and she’s gay… whatever. I can’t keep track of this analogy anymore. She’s been in a crabby mood all week, so I haven’t really had anyone to pal around with. Blah.

Got an e-mail from one of my friends this week with the news that he’s going to Israel for a visit. He’s building a webpage that basically has his status on it. So that if anything happens, he doesn’t have to send out a thousand e-mails saying he’s okay or not… he just updates one page. Kinda weird that he has to do that.

I’m so damn sore today. I ordered a new, fancy desk for my apartment – the old one was falling apart – screws laying around all over the floor – the monitor shelf sagging in the middle, etc. So they delivered the boxes containing the desk yesterday, but there was only one delivery man, so I had to help carry everything in. 250lbs worth of crap. Up four stories/eight flights of stairs. Ugh. I look like I’ve been in a fight with a bear. I’m all bruised & scratched from the boxes. But the desk is together, and looking fancy so yay me.

[ mood | bored ]
[ music | The Cars – “It’s All I Can Do” ]

The powers that be finally decided to hire me on staff from the permalance position I was in. I think I’ve finally stopped missing being laid off, and have accepted that working for money is the grown-up thing to do. So now I’m back to my old pre-laid-off workaholic self. The only new downside to all of this is that I have to go to orientation… again. This is like the 3rd or 4th company orientation I’ve been to with this same company in the last five years. They take all damn today, and haven’t changed during the 5 years I’ve been here. So tomorrow I get to play “get to know ya” with the other dorks that are getting hired, and fill out paperwork I’ve filled out a thousand other times, and eat stale bagels. The only joy I usually get out of these things are when I ask confusing questions of the HR peeps there… like when I ask,

“So, I have a 401k that started at x company, and then we broke off and started a new company so they rolled into the x plan, then I quit. Then I came back, and I started contributing to it again, then we changed companies again, then we changed providers, then we changed back. Then I got laid off. Then I got hired back. Then I got laid off again. Now I’m back – can I still contribute to the same account?”

I think tomorrow my goal will either be to make one of the HR peeps cry, or find someone gullible there and try to convince them that I had accidentally killed someone a few months back, and ask them if I should tell the HR peeps, because the form says to say if we were convicted of any felonies, but nothing about if we actually committed a felony that just hasn’t been discovered yet.

I wish they would just give me the freakin’ forms to fill out and turn back in. I really couldn’t care less about getting another corporate messenger bag & a free bagel breakfast.

But that’s just me.

[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Power Station – “Harvest For The World” ]

I got a standing ovation on an R train today… I left work with a ton of co-workers… they were all going further than I was, so when I got off at Herald Square, they all applauded and clapped as I hopped off the train. Nice feeling… I could really get used to that. A little later while walking thru the Boken, I saw a Cooper Mini sitting outside a pub… Now I’m sitting at home watching the Oz DVD… I don’t think I ever saw any of the first season… I’m sitting here taking in the first epi, and Beecher is being such a wuss… no wonder he’s gonna get raped soon.

[ mood | amused ]
[ music | The Dandy Warhols – “Orange” ]

I just had the most interesting time watching 5 or 6 guys manually parallel park a truck with a dead engine/battery, up a hill, in the rain, in the dark. I kinda felt bad chuckling at them from my window, but they were all laughing too, so….

[ mood | content ]
[ music | Fugazi – “Cashout” ]

Yay! I’m sooooo happy! I finally found found some PUR water filters today!!! I’ve been looking for this lil fuckers for a while now. Every place I used to get them didn’t have them anymore… but tonight I found a pharmacy near work that still carries them. No more funky water for me!

And I’m finally listening to the semi-new Fugazi album and it’s really growing on me. Yay.

God I’m boring.

Ugh.

[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | Led Zeppelin – “Misty Mounatin Hop” ]

DSL problems… it’ll probably conk out soon again… blah ugh…. must have broadband! On the plus side, Verizon tech support is hell of a lot better than it was 2 years ago. They’re there 24/7… I’d recommend calling late if you have too, I got right through. They’re gonna “run tests” and see what they can find out. We’ll see.

Another ugh.. DART & doubleclick… that’s all I’m gonna say. Payback is a bitch. I’ve always hated internet ads and the whole trafficking thing… and now it’s one of my new responsibilities. Blah.

[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | Veruca Salt – “Earthcrosser” ]

I went out after work and got took some photos of the memorial…

More photos here [REDACTED]

[ mood | refreshed ]
[ music | Prince – “Sign ‘O’ The Times” ]

Looks like they’re getting ready for the memorial on Monday.

[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Catherine Wheel – “Eat My Dust You Insensitive Fuck” ]

Okay… still kinda thinking about being vaporized, but this thing is pretty damn cool….

THE.MAN.PROJECT

[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | The Afghan Whigs – “When We Two Parted” ]

I had thought about it… but not really I guess. Not since I was a kid and we were in the middle of the cold war, and when “The Day After” seemed like a likely event. It’s kinda weird when you hear about the possibility of being vaporized. I don’t know… I just feel weird having heard it today. In case you missed it – Time released an article detailing a threat that was considered very credible at the time, that terrorists were planning on detonating a 10 kiloton nuclear device in Manhattan this past October. The big controversy was that no one in the local, or state government was told about the threat. Now I totally agree that the public shouldn’t have been informed… I’m all about reducing mass panic… but it does seem weird that if the threat was that credible, that no one in the local administration was informed of the fed’s concerns. I dunno.

You can get the full article here.

[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | Faith No More – “Easy” ]

Today I took 1 bus, 2 PATH trains, 3 subways, 1 train & a 1 cab…. and it was so worth every minute of it.

[ mood | content ]
[ music | Jimmy Eat World – “In The Middle” ]

I was a social lil bug this weekend… which is odd for me as of late. Went out drinking with the crew from work. I think they’re a bunch of alcholics… but they’re fun ones. Got nicely toasted with them. Really enjoying work now when it’s not stressing me out. Ran around with “The Girl” on Saturday. So much fun was had. Love The Girl. Sunday I met up with a long lost friend from college. It was really great to talk with him. It was interesting because we didn’t really relive old times too much, just had a nice, long conversation about all kinds of stuff. Miss having those long conversations with people. Left a lot of conversation people like this guy, after I left college. Then the few I had in NYC moved away. A few remain, but it’s kinda sparse. After talking to The Girl all night Saturday and this guy on Sunday, I’m gonna be all homesick for talkin’.

Oh well.

[ mood | tired ]
[ music | Wang Chung – “Tall Trees In A Blue Sky” ]

So the other night I was slaving away on some crap for work, and I kinda needed a break. I ended up staring at some of the cleaning supplies I had picked up from K-Mart earlier. The latex gloves called out to me…

…so I filled one up with water and put it in the freezer. I peeled off the latex a few hours later, and I now have a hand of solid ice. It’s still sitting in my freezer.

[ mood | horrified ]
[ music | Poster Children – “Blatant Dis” ]

This is the most fucked up news story I’ve ever read. I kept forgetting I was NOT reading The Onion…

Scores of Bodies Strewn at Site of Crematory

[ mood | nostalgic ]
[ music | Veruca Salt – “Earthcrosser” ]

So I’m sitting here watching this unspectaular rerun of ER and it got me thinking about ensemble casts, and how some of them are better than others… like the earlier episodes of ER where it just worked better. Got me thinking about the heydays of the .com and how much fun we had. Sitting it the stairwell with Claudine. Stealing Vin away for a movie with Jetset. Visiting the Chainsaw in her office. Bonding & bitching about everything with everyone. Wonder if it’ll ever be like that again?

[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | King’s X – “Goldilox” ]

Just got back from a great concert a few minutes ago. You know it’s a great show when:
a) you can’t talk
b) even if you could, you wouldn’t be able to hear it because you’re now deaf.
c) The obscure band, as an encore, plays an obscure (non-single) song off their now 14-year-old debut album, which no one bought and proceed to turn the mics around to the audience, the band not singing a word, and the audience flawlessly sings the entire song perfectly.

Thank god for rock ‘n’ roll & NYC audiences.

ROCK (I’m making the devil sign now!)